If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing.
Before you criticize people, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them…
you are a mile away from them…
and you have their shoes.
I say no to drugs, but they don’t listen.
I’m smiling. This should scare you.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
You're not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.
Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much. You’re not that good.
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
What’s another word for thesaurus ?
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen. (I SO AGREE)
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
I can tell you’re lying. Your lips are moving
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
I can resist everything except temptation.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
I souport publik edekasion.
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie!’… till you can find a rock.
In spite of the cost of living, it’s still popular.
No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.
There is nothing better than a good friend, except a good friend with chocolate. (YES!!!)
So much chocolate. So little time!
If there is no chocolate in heaven, I’m not going!
When no one understands you, chocolate is there.
Life without chocolate is no life at all.
Who says chocolate isn’t a food group!!
One of life’s mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.
Save earth. It’s the only planet with chocolate.
Man cannot live by chocolate alone, but it sure is fun trying.
If God had meant us to be thin, he would not have created chocolate.
If I ever need religion, I’ll worship chocolate cake.
By the time you read this you’ve already read it.
The things taught in schools and colleges are not an education, but the means to an education. (TOTALLY.)
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.